Fatherhood at its finest…kinda

Time, The Magical Vanishing Act

Well..hello there.

Well..hello there.

It’s said “time is relative.”

No, I’m not talking about the theory of relativity right now, that’s WAY too complex for a mind that’s operated on six hours of sleep a night for the past three months.  I mean the fact time simply has the ability to disappear, slip away, and vanish without us knowing, and some of the greatest minds in history agree.

“You may delay, but time will not.” – Benjamin Franklin

“How did it get so late so soon?” – Dr. Seuss

“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour.  Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.” – Albert Einstein

Though, I’d like to amend that idea just a bit.  As a new father, the quote that more reasonably sums up the last three months?  “There’s relatively no time, with a baby.”  You see, we read the books, we prepared the nursery, bought just about every baby item imaginable, and once we brought him home, spent late nights binge ordering “necessities” from our Diapers.com app.  What we didn’t know was the incredible, magical, disappearing time trick that was about to be played on us.  And not the ‘I’ve binged watched seven episodes of ‘Orange is the New Black’ on Netflix’ (which apparently is ok) kind of time warp.

I’m talking about the feeding every three hours, and not from when he finishes feeding but from when he starts, routine.  Why is it no one ever talks about this ahead of time?  Is there some sort of new parent omission guide, that says ‘oh make sure they know about swaddling, safety standards, and burp cloths, but make sure you leave out the fact you’ll be able to do absolutely nothing else for the first two months?’


Our house looked as if Blazer, the dog was running the place.  Boxes everywhere, old food in the refrigerator, garbage and recycling bins overflowing, and burp cloths on the back of every piece of furniture.  It’s the latest in decorating.  We’d finish with one feeding and already start preparing for the next.  In between the burping, diaper change, and play time.  The time to do any chores, cook a meal, or even get presentable for the day vanished about as fast as your money at Babies “R” Us.  And that’s only with one baby.  I can only imagine what it’s gonna be like with more.

Though I’d be hard pressed to write about time and not include, “time flies when you’re having fun.”  Because that’s exactly what we’re doing, having a blast!  There are late nights…night before last comes to mind, there are long days, fussy episodes, and crying fits.  There are massive dirty diapers, spit up, and messes.  But when it comes down to it, I’d lose all the time I have to hang with the little guy.  Seeing him crack just one smile after crying for what seems like an hour has the most incredible ability to make me forget about the entire episode.  One laugh, one smile, one more minute to spend with him is worth every difficult moment.

Making it all…relative.

Wyatt Smiling 2


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Categorised in: 2013, Baby, Baby & Dog, December, diapers.com, Musings, Netflix

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