I am a smart person. I graduated college, have a career where I have to think on my feet, what and how I say something matters. I have made it through 33 years of my life with a good head on my shoulders. I am a smart person.
I cannot, however, figure out for the life of me how to assemble this damn Pack ‘n Play.
My lovely wife was very excited to unpack the new Pack ‘n Play and did so with great ease. Taking it out of the box, she proudly stood above the heap of plastic and fabric that may, possibly, somehow, God willing be the home of many happy hours for our son and pointed at it with the utmost love in her eyes. You know that pleasant, endearing look that says, “ok, well I’m ready for you to get to work.” And I’d love to do so if only I can figure out how to set the blasted thing up.
As a man, directions are typically forbidden. Give me a picture and I’ll figure it out, if a caveman can figure out fire, I can certainly assemble a child’s playpen. Then there’s this.
Have you seen how many components there are for this thing? There’s a changing table addition, plus a napping station that attaches to the top. If I ask it, it may also change the diaper for me, worth a shot. I have spent more than an hour trying to fit pipes through fabric that won’t fit, I’ve stared and tried to force things to happen, I’ve jumped up and down and wiggled (I imagine just like the child this is made for) to make things work, and still nothing. I’ve officially reached the point where I’m willing to sacrifice my man card and break out the directions…but remember when I said my wife was excited to unpack? Well, that also meant the directions got lost in the excitement. There’s plenty of irony in the fact that our directions, got lost. Yep.
In my infinite wisdom, I did what any digital dad would do, break out the iPad and watch youtube videos on how to assemble Graco Pack ‘n Plays. Sure enough the company itself has some, but do they assemble our style? Nope. There’s even more than a dozen videos by some very industrious people on youtube who clearly have felt my pain and are trying to reduce it for others. It’s not working.
So here I type, a Pack ‘n Play 75% assembled siting next to me with a slew of extra parts that look as if they belong more to our patio set than mobile crib. I assembled that patio set, didn’t even have left over parts to wonder where they belonged. See, told you I’m a smart person.